It can sometimes be helpful to think of your relationship as something else. For example, think about what you do if your dishwasher stops working right. At first, you would try to fix it. You’d take a look at it yourself and see if you noticed anything that was out of place, perhaps a lever or a button. If you couldn’t find anything yourself, then you’d call someone or some business to come and take a look. Odds are they would be able to fix the problem for a fraction of the cost of replacing your dishwasher. However, you would never just replace it in the first place, but rather would at least try to fix it.
If people are apt to try and fix things before they replace them, why are so many people turned off by the idea of trying to fix their relationship? Are people so consumed by the accounts of love in the movies that they think relationships are like that in real life? Do they enter a relationship thinking that if they ever have one fight or disagreement, then they weren’t meant to be? Whatever the reason, many Americans simply don’t want to work on their relationships, opting instead for ending it and looking for a new one.
The people who consistently end relationships as soon as something goes wrong are the same people who end up alone later in their life. They’ve set the bar so high that they simply can’t achieve it, and the relationships they have never match up with their mental image of what it should be. Instead of being one of these people who move from relationship to relationship, consider couples therapy and try to resolve the issues. In many cases, couples therapy won’t help either, and you and your loved one will come to the conclusion that you’re not all that good together. Yet you at least have to give it a try; you never know, your issues might be simple to resolve and you might end up living happily ever after, or at least something close to it.
As alluded to above, real relationships take work, and there will be ups and downs. It won’t all be the honeymoon stage, as they say, and you’ll have to work at it from time to time. This is why couples therapy can be so helpful. With a certified family therapist in the room, you and your loved one will be able to air your issues with one another to a trained professional. Simply expressing your displeasure with the other person can sometimes be enough to either let you find peace with their behavior or to have them change it altogether. The old saying that people never change simply isn’t true, and any therapist would tell you as much. Couples therapy helps people identify the issues with their relationship and create a plan for changing it going forward.
Give Dana Zienert Kind of Kind Therapy a call and see how couples therapy might help you and your loved one repair your relationship.